10 Classic Game Consoles That Are Basically Useless Bricks Today

With no announcements of a PlayStation 6 or a new Xbox hinted at in the rumor mill, it seems the Nintendo Switch 2 remains the new kid on the block. Although "new" in this case doesn't necessarily mean plain, as the Switch 2 comes in strong with Pokemon Legends: Z-A, re-releases of Pokemon FireRed and LeafGreen, and even upcoming drops such as 007 First Light, Avatar Legends: The Fighting Game, and even the Switch 2 release of FF7 Rebirth, among others.

The Switch 2 is a testament to how far gaming has come since its more problematic console launches, especially for those who witnessed the reveals of controversial machines like the Xbox 360 and its infamous "Red Ring of Death" or the quirky Nokia N-Gage. However, there were other gaming consoles with launches so devastating that they inevitably faded into obscurity, and the games were practically made obsolete along with them. Behind the groundbreaking successes of the PlayStation and its rivals, the Sega Saturn and the Nintendo 64, are consoles that tried to keep up but failed.

Advanced Game Player

An Unknown Device That's Worse Than A Brick Game

The Advanced Game Player was the equivalent of the “We have a Game Boy Advance SP at home” in the form of one of the most awkward handheld hardware in gaming. Not much is known about the AGP’s origins, but it’s already infamous for its setup: a foldable handheld with a small black and white screen, the standard face and D-pad buttons, and a slot for a game chip.

The Advanced Game Player came with eight built-in games that were somehow only accessible when the chip of that game was inserted. Funnily enough, there were times that the chip from one game would load another title — meaning it wasn't even important which chip was placed in the device. There weren’t any other games released for the system, and the nostalgic Brick Game of the 1990s has an infinitely better library.

Mattel HyperScan

Scanning Cards To Play Meant Having To Buy Them All

The idea of collecting scannable cards isn’t new. Japan started this trend with 2002’s World Club Champion Football, and it was once again made popular with 2020’s Pokemon Mezastar. However, Mattel's adaptation of the concept with the Mattel HyperScan in 2006 was a welcome surprise to Western gamers, especially because this meant Mattel could turn popular IPs into collectible cards with a game component that could be played at home. The HyperScan release came with collectible cards from IPs such as Ben 10, Marvel Comics, and even an original wrestling game.

Sadly, those few titles were the only ones playable on the HyperScan, as many of the others were canceled. Only Interstellar Wrestling League had a direct fighting game component to it, whereas the Ben 10 and Marvel titles (Marvel Heroes, X-Men, and Spider-Man) were effectively just platformers with basic mechanics. As if abysmal games weren’t enough, players had to purchase booster packs to unlock new characters, levels, abilities, and even movesets, making the HyperScan an eerie first look at microtransactions.

Philips CD-I

The Everyday Device That Just Wasn't Good At Anything

The Philips CD-i was a demonstration of what eventually led to the creation of gaming consoles, but in reverse, in that Philips wanted to set a standard for multimedia discs. In their minds, the CD-i would be able to house both interactive and pre-recorded media, with the Philips CD-i being the box to fit them. Since Philips wanted the CD-i to be a “universal standard,” they wanted maximum compatibility across all other players, something that didn’t allow them to set their own “niche” against the competition.

When the CD-i proved difficult to market to a mainstream audience, Philips tried to push its gaming capabilities instead. However, Philips soon realized that their system lacked an internal GPU and had an even worse CPU (even for 2D games), making it ill-equipped to compete with the PlayStation, Nintendo 64, and Sega Saturn.

Atari Jaguar

Imagine Launching Months Before Playstation, Sega Saturn, And N64

The Atari Jaguar was Atari’s attempt to get ahead of the console race by introducing, supposedly, the world’s “first” 64-bit gaming system. Sadly, both its cartridge- and CD-based variants were plagued with clunky hardware, an outdated multi-button controller, and a lackluster library, not to mention that others were quick to criticize its “64-bit” claim. The Jaguar was revealed to be more of a multi-chip system with 64-,32-, and 16-bit tech. In the end, the Atari Jaguar failed to attract fans of the last gen’s SNES and Sega Genesis, while its multi-chip hardware and lack of documentation made the Jaguar difficult to make games for, hence coming with fewer than 60 titles.

What made matters worse for the Atari Jaguar was a launch that was technically months away from the Sony PlayStation, Sega Saturn, and Nintendo 64 — arguably the dominant entities in the 3D era. Lack of clamor from older fans and the subsequent release of fifth-gen juggernauts categorized the Atari Jaguar as an awkward and easily forgotten anecdote in gaming console history.

Amiga CD 32

A 32-Bit Console In The Advent Of The 3D Era

The Amiga CD 32 was one of Commodore’s last attempts to break into the fresh games console scene, where the gaming aspect of expensive computers was transferred into screen-less (ergo, cheaper) boxes that could be played on a TV. With Commodore’s products losing to the growing PC market dominated by Apple and Google, the Amiga CD 32 and its subsequent commercial failure (despite early success in Europe) indirectly led to the company’s bankruptcy in 1994.

The tragic part about the Amiga CD 32 is that the product's vision was oriented in the right direction, but it was a little too late in its execution. At its core, the Amiga CD 32 was just a dumbed-down version of the Amiga 1200 without the floppy disk drive and the hard drive. This also meant the Amiga CD 32 could “run” older Commodore games, but not play a lot of them due to the lack of keyboard and mouse. Its infamous U-shaped joystick resulted in a lot of janky gameplay. Not only that, the CD32 getting into 32-bit when gaming was already entering the 3D era positioned the console in a losing battle from the jump.

Gizmondo

A Gizmo That Tried To Do More Than Just Gaming

Going handheld was a challenge for many gaming consoles in the early 2000s, with the Gizmondo from Tiger Telematics hoping to compete with the likes of the Nokia N-Gage and Nintendo DS. Despite its gaming console appearance, the Gizmondo initially impressed with SMS and MMS capabilities, GPRS-powered browsing, and even a digital camera, casting a wide net for unique use-cases that could potentially generate public interest. Unfortunately, company controversy and a delayed US launch prevented Gizmondo from ever receiving proper distribution, with GamePro estimates showing only around 25,000 units sold.

The device itself didn’t fare any better. It launched with a screen smaller than the PSP’s, a lack of analog control, no keyboard (making the SMS hard to use), and in-device ads. Moreover, the Gizmondo featured only 14 titles, none of which stood out, while others could already be played on other systems.

Ouya

An Ambitious, Fully Open-Source Idea With Mediocre Execution

Notable for being one of Kickstarter’s best campaigns, the Ouya was initially conceptualized as an Android-based console with hardware that was supposed to be easy to mod with, as well as internal software that encouraged any owner to be a game developer. This “open” architecture gave Ouya the vision of being gamer-first, especially when it initially required all games on the platform to have some kind of “free” element.

However, the launch told a different story. Despite its exciting concept, the Ouya failed to capture the interest of gamers due to a myriad of issues: poor build quality on the controller, a finicky internal OS, and overall lag, among others. The Ouya was discontinued in 2015, while both the online store and software support ceased in 2019.

R-Zone

An Oddity That Felt More Like A Toy Than A Console

The R-Zone was among the pinnacle of 90s tech oddities. This Tiger Electronics console pulled all stops for a portable gaming experience that felt straight out of sci-fi. It consisted of two parts: a headset with a one-eyed visor, which was connected to a controller with a battery. The cartridges came with clear screens at the center that were overlaid on the visor, so it’s as though viewers were brought inside the game.

Unfortunately, playing these games was a different experience; the device felt more like having a toy than an actual console. All games came with a red color scheme, and gameplay was rarely different across games. For a 90s console, games on the R-Zone seemed to only have a few sprites of repeated animation available. Players who wanted to opt out of the visor could purchase a handheld variant (Xtreme Pocket Game), a handheld with a flat display and a data organizer (DataZone), or a larger model for colored displays (SuperScreen). Sadly, the whole line lasted just two years before being discontinued.

Sega Genesis Flashback

A Flashback To The Genius Design Of Older Generations

The nostalgia factor of older games often involves a particular look, feel, and even sound that only OG consoles like the Sega Genesis manage to capture, adding a layer of pressure on modernized classic consoles on top of fixing bugs and other gameplay woes. An example of a console folding under such pressure is the Sega Genesis Flashback from AtGames, which at launch made playing too inconvenient, to the point that the titles are better off when played with an emulator — or better yet, the actual consoles themselves.

The original iteration of the console came packed with infrared (in the Year of Our Lord 2017, but a future release updated this to Bluetooth) consoles that needed AAA batteries, an AC adapter, and a rather unintuitive operating system. The console also came with 85 built-in titles, but 30 or so seem to be bloatware. It had cartridge support, but the cartridge had to be inserted while the device was powered down. When these minor inconveniences piled up, it seemed to many that buying a used Sega Genesis was more worthwhile.

Commodore 64 Games System

Better To Just Buy The More Powerful PC

Unlike other home computers at the time, the general accessibility of the Commodore 64 made it a hit in many markets, seeing hits like International Soccer (1983), Bruce Lee (1984), Pitstop 2 (1984), and even The Last Ninja (1987). When the Commodore 64 Games System was poised as a Sega and Nintendo competitor in the growing console war, it’s no surprise that fans waited with bated breath…for a console that would sell only 2,000 units.

The idea was to sell a cheaper games-only console unit for younger audiences. Aside from selling in an already-saturated console market, the C64GS was already fighting against itself. The lack of a keyboard meant most of the C64 library was unplayable at the outset, and the available joystick was clunky to boot. Perhaps what rendered C64GS useless was also the fact that it ran on the same tech as the original Commodore 64, which meant that it was much better to just buy the actual computer to play games, and do more things as well.