Motivation is social: Tap your network

- Think of somebody who's a legend in your mind, maybe it's a musician, an athlete, or someone who's done something extra awesome in your field. At first, it's easy to look at that person and see a singular success, somebody who pulled themselves up and did it alone. But not far behind the scenes, there's almost always a coach, a champion, or an advisor or a team of these people who helped that legend when their motivation faltered. And you know what? It's no different for you. Tapping your network can boost your self motivation, reframe a problem, or open the door to a new solution. It can also provide needed support or understanding when you're feeling down or unmotivated. I have a friend circle who go back with me to like, in some cases, five years old. That group is so important to me and just a level of comfort there that's hard to express in words. Just comfort, joy, ease, permission to come as you are. If you're not sure where to start, here are a few roles you can identify and start to connect within your network. The first is an accountability buddy. This is someone who you can openly share your goal with and who's likely to hold you responsible for it. They may naturally expect you to be answerable to your goals when you share them with them, or after sharing your big goal, you can explicitly ask them to hold you accountable for it. Generally, accountability buddies are good at supporting and encouraging you, but they aren't afraid to call you out if you're slacking on your goal. So I feel really lucky to have a accountability buddy who is also a thought partner too, helps me brainstorm things. Her name is Simone and she gives me that boost that I really need. Sometimes if I have self-doubt, she's the voice I think of, even if she's not there, who would say, "No, I think you should say what's on your mind." Or, "I think that's a really valid point and you should go a little further with that." Or, "I think you should have that conversation with that person." Next is a brainstorming partner. This is somebody who you can engage as a thought partner to overcome a problem or find a solution. In software development, for example, there's a concept called rubber ducking, a method of debugging code. The simple idea is that a programmer explains their code line by line to a rubber duck. Funny, I know, but by explaining a problem or approach aloud to another person, or duck, in this case, you can spot the solution. If you're feeling stuck and unmotivated, ask your brainstorming partner to do rubber ducking with you where they listen for bugs or solutions in your work. Third is a role model. This is somebody who inspires us to aim high through their own actions and success. Maybe you admire the chance they took on an idea or their gumption to launch a new product. Or let's say it's a director you occasionally work with and really admire. Think about how you could include and learn from them. Invite them to a coffee or ask them if they'd be open to an exploratory conversation. You could explain that you admire their fill in the blank and that you'd love to learn how they hone their skills. Remember, just like you want to be recognized for your unique talents, others do as well. So I have a mentor, a role model that I look up to, whose name is Simon, and he took me under his wing and just very selflessly has given me advice, looked out for me, recommended opportunities to me, and I appreciate him so much 'cause he reminds me of paying it forward and how much I want to do that for someone else. I still remember just thinking, wow, he's taking the time. He's being so generous and open and he's a hundred percent here. Motivation isn't just something that lives inside you. It can be amplified by the people around you. So the next time you feel stuck or unmotivated, remember you don't have to go it alone. Tap your network, gain perspective and move ahead with confidence.