Tweets / All / No replies

  1. 57m

    "Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh." NICE TRY ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH LOBBY.

    Expand Collapse
  2. 20h

    It's hailing in Hollywood. This is what happens when you mess with the duck people.

    Expand Collapse
  3. 22h

    Sarcasm works great on the internet.

    Expand Collapse
  4. 19 Dec

    I assume Ashton Kutcher will be replacing that guy on Duck Dynasty.

    Expand Collapse
  5. 18 Dec

    If you can't buy beer with an alligator in Miami, you can't buy beer with an alligator anywhere.

    Expand Collapse
  6. 18 Dec

    Hey, a review of my new Vader comic:

    Expand Collapse
  7. 18 Dec

    "Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name? Hello, I love you, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

    Expand Collapse
  8. 17 Dec

    Lucasfilm rejected my first idea: DARTH VADER and the SLOW TORTURE OF JAR JAR BINKS. I guess they don't like bathing in cash.

    Expand Collapse
  9. 17 Dec

    Ahoy, comic book and/or Star Wars fans! My new Vader miniseries launches tomorrow:

    Expand Collapse
  10. 17 Dec

    "Then I took a selfie with Him, pa rum pa pum pum."

    Expand Collapse
  11. 16 Dec

    What do we have, like, four months before every possible tweet has been tweeted? Let's just hope climate change kills us all before then.

    Expand Collapse
  12. 16 Dec

    All I want for Christmas are a bunch of water hoses around my house like the ship in Captain Phillips.

    Expand Collapse
  13. 14 Dec

    "I'll be home for Christmas, you can count on me." - homesick abacus

    Expand Collapse
  14. 13 Dec

    Standing outside my neighbor's window, singing Friday the 13th carols.

    Expand Collapse
  15. 13 Dec

    Worst Friday the 13th ever. Someone stole the baby Jason from our lawn display.

    Expand Collapse
  16. 13 Dec

    Spending a quiet and reflective Friday the 13th at home with my machetes.

    Expand Collapse
  17. 12 Dec

    If you run a giant inflatable gorilla lot do you have to put a car on top of the sales office to attract attention?

    Expand Collapse
  18. 12 Dec

    I do some of my best thinking sitting alone in a McDonald's ball pit.

    Expand Collapse
  19. 11 Dec

    About two hours into the Hobbit stand up and yell "Give me a break! They don't have dragons in Nebraska!"

    Expand Collapse
  20. 11 Dec

    I came in like a wrecking ball. Round.

    Expand Collapse

@badbanana hasn't tweeted yet.

Loading seems to be taking a while.

Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.